birdman

i know before going on the date that he has birds - his username has 'parrots' in for pete's sake. [is that parakeet pete?] but i'm hoping he's not going to be one of those crazy bird people, which are almost as bad as horse people. sorry horse people...keep your riding boots away from me.

we meet at a place that's about 15 blocks from my house, so i walk there. i realize about halfway through that it's over 90 degrees, and maybe walking wasn't the best idea. oh well, i guess i'll be schvitzing a bit when i arrive. his face is as attractive in person as it was in photos, which makes me smile. he's kinda leeeetle, but which of these guys isn't? he starts the date off my asking me questions about myself...for about 10 minutes. the rest of the date is all.about.him. i just sit back and let him talk about himself. if he were just a tad more interesting, this wouldn't be so bad. i'm intrigued (slightly) by his bird thing, so i encourage him to talk about them by asking lots of questions. now, i know people love their pets (and some people LOVE their pets), so i don't fault him for loving his birds. but when he starts to act out the bird sounds and begins to resemble the birds...well, it's a little much. to be fair, i'm totally entertained so i let him continue.

he tells me he's been laid off his job since february, and he's just enjoying himself this summer hiking and dating girls from okc. he thinks he'll start looking for a job again sometime soon, or maybe he'll go into designing bird cages. (???) i have to give him credit for using the time off to figure out what he really wants to do. i obviously don't have the courage to do it.

we split the check and part ways. i have a feeling he is going home to cuddle with his birds.

stunted reloaded

remember stunted? after a month and a half or so of no contact, he writes to me saying "so i'm lame and should have asked you about that second date." my friends erin and kristen look at his photo and encourage me to go on a second date. we meet up at one of my favorite local bars for a couple of beers. i'm having a week from hell with work and i'm a bit on the tired side from drinking each night of that particular week. luckily he's in the same boat.

i discover he reads much smarter books than i do generally, though we do have a few here and there in common. we have some music, some movie tastes in common. he's has a bit of 'angry little man' side to him, and i'm not sure that i really need that in my life. fact is, i have enough of that myself (well, not the MAN part) and i probably don't need anyone to contribute more. he also has road rage (which my friend erica will say i REALLY don't need more of). the date goes fine, neither great nor terrible. [is this blah feeling just going to keep popping its head up on every date?] he goes in for the kiss at the end of the date, which is surprisingly well-executed. but i still don't feel it in my toes, and dammit, that's what i'm waiting for. when he hints that he's up for more, i put him off for another date, claiming exhaustion. the truth is, i want to sleep in on saturday, and i want my bed to myself. for the same reason, i won't be calling freeloader for a booty call when i get home.

please don't tell me to read 'the secret'

i'm giving new ager another chance, and i'm hoping he can prove he's not tooooo much of a new ager. we meet at the horsebrass to peruse their list of many many beers. i'm already two drinks in from a work event, so this should be an interesting evening.

i note that he passed on the offer to order food (which he kinda did at the first date as well). i LOVE the fishwich at the horsebrass (people, if you've never had it, you must go), but i'm not feeling like ordering it and eating alone. as i'm settling in with the thought of a liquid dinner, i ask him what his deal is with food. he said that he has followed a very strict diet for 3 years, and he very rarely eats meals out. it consists of cereal with soy milk for breakfast, a tofurky sandwich at lunch and a 'mish-mosh' fajita at dinner which is mostly a bunch of veggies sauted and thrown into a tortilla. BORING. first of all, i get tired of a meal after having it four times, let alone THREE YEARS. second, this hyper-conscious eating habit does not bode well for future dates. i mean, i like to eat. ok, ok, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to pick up some of his healthy habits; i could use that inspiration. but all the time?? no thanks. plus eating is such a social thing - i go to bars, restaurants and dinner parties most of my evenings. he then goes on to explain further that we are all over-stimulated in our food, and everything is engineered to taste so powerfully. he says that his bland eating habits mean that he enjoys his few meals out to a much greater extent. whatever.

have i mentioned that he has a shaved head (which is fine), but that it's really small? the more drinks i have, the more i stare.

we go on to talk about how we have very different music tastes. he likes raves and electronic bullshit for the most part, but does listen to a little bit of singer/songwriter stuff. we discuss how this difference of opinions doesn't have to be a deal breaker (but wait, who's going to go to shows with me??).

i press him to find out who the new age-y speaker he talked about the first date was. he says that his mom is really more into him than he is, but he does listen to him speak from time to time. it's wayne dyer. shudder. i took a look at the website and nearly went into convulsions.

i swear, if this guy gives me a copy of 'the secret' to read, i'm out!

eventually the evening winds down, and we walk out. he's looking shy, so i know what's coming next. he says he really wants to kiss me, and i say i wondered if he was ever going to try. he does, it's fine. but then. THEN. he gets all uncomfortable and kinda lightly punches me on the upper rib cage, saying 'so, i'll see you again soon?' i reply with 'really? the punch?' sheesh, i'm such a b sometimes. he laughs uncomfortably, and i walk to my car. as i'm pulling on the seat belt, i see this bald guy lingering in my rearview mirror. i roll down the window and he says 'oh, i just wanted to remind you of the name of this tattoo parlour again. don't forget to check it out.'

i confer with my friend j after the date, and she thinks that he must be crushing on me and feeling awfully awkward for the weird punch. so he hand to come back for one more word. funny funny.

easy, boys

after a busy social couple of weeks, i am trying to line up some dates for this week. as i was rushing home from a work thing, getting ready in 5 minutes for date #2 with new ager, good old stunted calls me to line up a second date with him. and then while on the date with new ager, a new guy called and left be a vmail to chat (nickname TBD). sheesh! when it rains, it...

busy busy

i have a few more online boys on the back burner, but i've had a busy couple of weeks with no time for dating random boys. more to come soon...