hold me closer, tiny sir textalot
sir textalot earns his nickname before i even meet him. we've exchanged numbers for our impending date, and he sends me 12 texts in the two days before the date. we haven't even met yet, dude. chill out. so the night of the date arrives, and i pick the location. it is a bar i've been wanting to check out, but i know it's in a tough to find location. turns out, google maps tells him its in SW when it's actually in SE, so he is 35 minutes late. no big deal, my iphone helps me pass the time.
when he arrives at the bar, i stand up to say hello. and i notice that my boots have put me in a position where i'm looking down at him. folks, we've got another shortie! he has a nice face, so i'll overlook it for now. he is intelligent, well traveled, has a good job... some of the things that i keep finding lacking in my 'portland guy type' here. hmmmm. he drives a porsche, for pete's sake. while this may be a plus to some, it's not a plus to me. i'm just not the flashy type of person, and flashy cars turn me off.
sir textalot also strikes me as a bit of a misogynist. could be the middle eastern background here (he has dual citizenship - syrian and canadian). he grew up in abu dhabi and dubai, then moved to canada when 16. we have conversations about the burka - his mother still covers her hair and body. her explanation is that women have this sexual power over men and that if you take that away, a man can only regard your intelligence, personality and face. and if a man forced to do that, then a relationship can be based on something other than the fact that your boobs were hanging out. he is not saying that everyone should wear a burka, just that if its a part of your culture and if you opt to wear one, there's a good reason behind it. i can accept this explanation. sir textalot then goes on to say that if i were dressed like a whore, he'd probably treat me very differently. and that i must understand this to a certain extent, and that i'm dressed "modestly" so that i will be treated respectfully. while there's a certain amount of this that i can agree with, i'm also slightly disturbed by his take on the whole thing.
he then goes into a whole rant about how our news here is totally biased and only one side of the story. and that we have a whole lot of misconceptions about the way that women are REALLY treated in the middle east, that they're actually treated more like princesses than oppressed. i, of course, counter that it's not only the media that has made us believe this but that there are plenty of first-hand accounts of women who have lived there and say they were oppressed. he insists this is just another form of media, and that women here can be oppressed or beaten or whatever in exactly the same way.
the political arguments actually don't bother me that much. i like the debate, the interesting conversation and stories, the perspective differences. this may be the dealbreaker though...
he comes back from the bathroom, and the simon and garfunkel song 'america' is on. i tell him that it's one of my favorite songs, and it's from one of the BEST movies ever. i try to make him guess, and he looks at me blankly. even once i give him the answer, he's never seen the movie. HE HAS NEVER HEARD OF 'ALMOST FAMOUS'! is this possible?? later in the conversation, it comes out that he has no idea what 'the lost boys' is. what?!? i understand that growing up in abu dhabi might have you sheltered from certain things. but the dude has been living in canada and the states for 13 years. there is no excuse. so DON'T hold me closer, tiny sir textalot.
he's been in portland for less than a year, and he hasn't made a whole lot of friends. he is keen to hang out a lot, and i cannot decide if i have the time for that. it's nice to have someone intelligent for discussions and debates, but the porsche, lack of pop culture knowledge and potential misogyny? i don't know if can get past these things.
sir textalot has of course already texted me this morning. do i reply?
when he arrives at the bar, i stand up to say hello. and i notice that my boots have put me in a position where i'm looking down at him. folks, we've got another shortie! he has a nice face, so i'll overlook it for now. he is intelligent, well traveled, has a good job... some of the things that i keep finding lacking in my 'portland guy type' here. hmmmm. he drives a porsche, for pete's sake. while this may be a plus to some, it's not a plus to me. i'm just not the flashy type of person, and flashy cars turn me off.
sir textalot also strikes me as a bit of a misogynist. could be the middle eastern background here (he has dual citizenship - syrian and canadian). he grew up in abu dhabi and dubai, then moved to canada when 16. we have conversations about the burka - his mother still covers her hair and body. her explanation is that women have this sexual power over men and that if you take that away, a man can only regard your intelligence, personality and face. and if a man forced to do that, then a relationship can be based on something other than the fact that your boobs were hanging out. he is not saying that everyone should wear a burka, just that if its a part of your culture and if you opt to wear one, there's a good reason behind it. i can accept this explanation. sir textalot then goes on to say that if i were dressed like a whore, he'd probably treat me very differently. and that i must understand this to a certain extent, and that i'm dressed "modestly" so that i will be treated respectfully. while there's a certain amount of this that i can agree with, i'm also slightly disturbed by his take on the whole thing.
he then goes into a whole rant about how our news here is totally biased and only one side of the story. and that we have a whole lot of misconceptions about the way that women are REALLY treated in the middle east, that they're actually treated more like princesses than oppressed. i, of course, counter that it's not only the media that has made us believe this but that there are plenty of first-hand accounts of women who have lived there and say they were oppressed. he insists this is just another form of media, and that women here can be oppressed or beaten or whatever in exactly the same way.
the political arguments actually don't bother me that much. i like the debate, the interesting conversation and stories, the perspective differences. this may be the dealbreaker though...
he comes back from the bathroom, and the simon and garfunkel song 'america' is on. i tell him that it's one of my favorite songs, and it's from one of the BEST movies ever. i try to make him guess, and he looks at me blankly. even once i give him the answer, he's never seen the movie. HE HAS NEVER HEARD OF 'ALMOST FAMOUS'! is this possible?? later in the conversation, it comes out that he has no idea what 'the lost boys' is. what?!? i understand that growing up in abu dhabi might have you sheltered from certain things. but the dude has been living in canada and the states for 13 years. there is no excuse. so DON'T hold me closer, tiny sir textalot.
he's been in portland for less than a year, and he hasn't made a whole lot of friends. he is keen to hang out a lot, and i cannot decide if i have the time for that. it's nice to have someone intelligent for discussions and debates, but the porsche, lack of pop culture knowledge and potential misogyny? i don't know if can get past these things.
sir textalot has of course already texted me this morning. do i reply?
posted by pdxgirl at 9:39 AM
3 Comments:
Thanks for the post! I am laughing my ass off!!!
dude, dump that chump. that's not potential misogyny, that is blatant ignorance and sexism. shoo.
don't worry, kathy - he did NOT get a second date :)
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