puppies are the super-est

i'm distracting myself from ending things with the goonie by hanging out with the puppy. and yes, he's a great distraction. his nickname may have to change from puppy for two reasons. 1) i'm afraid i'm going to call him this in person, which could be baaaaaaad and 2) a more apt name might be the "the superlative". everything for him is the greatest, the most super, fantastic and splendid thing! he is taking me to shows, making me dinner, and making me swoon. perfect distraction.

sorry goonie

goonie is great on paper - many things in common, a really good and nice guy... but perfect on paper is not enough. the dealbreaker? he is the worst. kisser. EVER. i mean awful, terrible, get your face away from mine, kisser. how does one get to the age of 39 and not know how to kiss? or maybe he's had girlfriends who liked his style. i am not going to be one of them! i feel terrible making the call to end things, but it has to be done.

puppy

while trying to figure out if i want to keep dating the goonie, i figure there's no better way to decide than to compare him to others i'm dating. ;)

my favorite emailer of all-time had been gone for awhile on a trip to europe (the one who 'lurved' my profile), and we were finally able to set up a late-night meeting last night. we meet at a bar after he finished a late night at work, at 10:30pm. we only have 1 beer, but the conversation lasts for 2.5 hours. he is YOUNG - young at heart, young in life experience, only 26 years in age. he's just finished his first trip to europe, and he has the travel bug. we had plenty to talk about with travel stories, and his enthusiasm is oh so cute. we develop an easy rapport, and there's a lot of laughing.

the nickname? he's so young and enthusiastic, he's like a puppy. and puppies are fun to play with...

living up to his name

there have been a couple more dates with the goonie, and he pretty much lives up to his name. he's a total dork, but in an endearing way. he likes to go out to eat (if only new ager had known this tip), he insists on paying, he's complimentary and affectionate. i'm still not 100% sure about him, but i'm not giving up on him yet.

ye of little effort

the latest date is supposed to meet me for beers on a saturday afternoon. he calls 30 mins before we are to meet to tell me that he has just woken up late from a nap and asks for a 15 minute delay. no big deal, i tell him, and i head to the bar for 4:15. he apologizes over text for arriving even later (15 more minutes), but i'm in a forgiving mood and not too bothered. he rolls up in a shabby white tee and beanie. this isn't even hipster lazy, it's lack-of-effort on a new level. come on dudes, i'm only asking for a little effort. pretend you realize you're going on a date and want to impress me a little. he still seems groggy from his nap, and i'm sad because i was looking forward to a sense of humor for once. in emails, this guy was a whipper-snapper.

conversation is decent. he grew up in portland, but has an international family background and has done a lot of traveling. we share some taste in music and movies, so we have a few things to talk about there. we talk about religion, history, cultures, etc. i don't sense any sort of romantic connection, but he might be a cool friend. we'll see.

the goonie

after sir textalot, i think i will avoid dates with pics of guys on crotch rocket motorcycles or any vague references to porsches. :) the next date choice looks to have no risk of similarities to the last date, and he proposes an afternoon tea/coffee date. we meet at a little SE coffeeshop that is one of my favorites in town, and we proceed to go through several pots of tea. he's entertaining to listen to, though i'll admit that's most of what i did during this date. this guy is a talker! he keeps apologizing for talking so much, offering for me to tell something about myself, but generally interrupting after i get halfway through what i'm saying. it's not to the point of annoying (YET), so i let him drone on and on. the truth is, he's interesting. he's a social worker, works at a homeless shelter and has dabbled in several acting gigs over the past few years. strange combination, i know! he's also a local oregonian, which is something hard to come by. he grew up in astoria and lived down the street from the goonies house! goonies house! he said he saw it all filmed and that the kid actors all hung out at his local candy shop. he also said that he and his friends were basically goonies growing up, though they called themselves 'explorers'. i know i shouldn't be so excited about this goonies connection, but i love that frickin movie! ok, geek-out moment over.

tea conversation proceeds so well he asks if i'd be willing to continue the date to dinner. he takes me to a mediterranean place down the street and insists on paying. sweet. he has a pretty decent sense of humor, which is a relief. he chews with his mouth open...UGH, not a relief. thankfully the restaurant is loud and i can't hear it. dinner continues mostly as tea did - he has a lot of stories but he's doing 87% of the talking. he insists that he's not normally like this, so maybe we can chalk it up to nerves. after about 4 hours, i decide that it's time to end the date. i tell him that i have later evening plans so i need to make a move. if we meet up again, hopefully he'll be a little less nervous! either that, or he's a complete narcissist. time may tell!

hold me closer, tiny sir textalot

sir textalot earns his nickname before i even meet him. we've exchanged numbers for our impending date, and he sends me 12 texts in the two days before the date. we haven't even met yet, dude. chill out. so the night of the date arrives, and i pick the location. it is a bar i've been wanting to check out, but i know it's in a tough to find location. turns out, google maps tells him its in SW when it's actually in SE, so he is 35 minutes late. no big deal, my iphone helps me pass the time.

when he arrives at the bar, i stand up to say hello. and i notice that my boots have put me in a position where i'm looking down at him. folks, we've got another shortie! he has a nice face, so i'll overlook it for now. he is intelligent, well traveled, has a good job... some of the things that i keep finding lacking in my 'portland guy type' here. hmmmm. he drives a porsche, for pete's sake. while this may be a plus to some, it's not a plus to me. i'm just not the flashy type of person, and flashy cars turn me off.

sir textalot also strikes me as a bit of a misogynist. could be the middle eastern background here (he has dual citizenship - syrian and canadian). he grew up in abu dhabi and dubai, then moved to canada when 16. we have conversations about the burka - his mother still covers her hair and body. her explanation is that women have this sexual power over men and that if you take that away, a man can only regard your intelligence, personality and face. and if a man forced to do that, then a relationship can be based on something other than the fact that your boobs were hanging out. he is not saying that everyone should wear a burka, just that if its a part of your culture and if you opt to wear one, there's a good reason behind it. i can accept this explanation. sir textalot then goes on to say that if i were dressed like a whore, he'd probably treat me very differently. and that i must understand this to a certain extent, and that i'm dressed "modestly" so that i will be treated respectfully. while there's a certain amount of this that i can agree with, i'm also slightly disturbed by his take on the whole thing.

he then goes into a whole rant about how our news here is totally biased and only one side of the story. and that we have a whole lot of misconceptions about the way that women are REALLY treated in the middle east, that they're actually treated more like princesses than oppressed. i, of course, counter that it's not only the media that has made us believe this but that there are plenty of first-hand accounts of women who have lived there and say they were oppressed. he insists this is just another form of media, and that women here can be oppressed or beaten or whatever in exactly the same way.

the political arguments actually don't bother me that much. i like the debate, the interesting conversation and stories, the perspective differences. this may be the dealbreaker though...
he comes back from the bathroom, and the simon and garfunkel song 'america' is on. i tell him that it's one of my favorite songs, and it's from one of the BEST movies ever. i try to make him guess, and he looks at me blankly. even once i give him the answer, he's never seen the movie. HE HAS NEVER HEARD OF 'ALMOST FAMOUS'! is this possible?? later in the conversation, it comes out that he has no idea what 'the lost boys' is. what?!? i understand that growing up in abu dhabi might have you sheltered from certain things. but the dude has been living in canada and the states for 13 years. there is no excuse. so DON'T hold me closer, tiny sir textalot.

he's been in portland for less than a year, and he hasn't made a whole lot of friends. he is keen to hang out a lot, and i cannot decide if i have the time for that. it's nice to have someone intelligent for discussions and debates, but the porsche, lack of pop culture knowledge and potential misogyny? i don't know if can get past these things.

sir textalot has of course already texted me this morning. do i reply?

birdman

i know before going on the date that he has birds - his username has 'parrots' in for pete's sake. [is that parakeet pete?] but i'm hoping he's not going to be one of those crazy bird people, which are almost as bad as horse people. sorry horse people...keep your riding boots away from me.

we meet at a place that's about 15 blocks from my house, so i walk there. i realize about halfway through that it's over 90 degrees, and maybe walking wasn't the best idea. oh well, i guess i'll be schvitzing a bit when i arrive. his face is as attractive in person as it was in photos, which makes me smile. he's kinda leeeetle, but which of these guys isn't? he starts the date off my asking me questions about myself...for about 10 minutes. the rest of the date is all.about.him. i just sit back and let him talk about himself. if he were just a tad more interesting, this wouldn't be so bad. i'm intrigued (slightly) by his bird thing, so i encourage him to talk about them by asking lots of questions. now, i know people love their pets (and some people LOVE their pets), so i don't fault him for loving his birds. but when he starts to act out the bird sounds and begins to resemble the birds...well, it's a little much. to be fair, i'm totally entertained so i let him continue.

he tells me he's been laid off his job since february, and he's just enjoying himself this summer hiking and dating girls from okc. he thinks he'll start looking for a job again sometime soon, or maybe he'll go into designing bird cages. (???) i have to give him credit for using the time off to figure out what he really wants to do. i obviously don't have the courage to do it.

we split the check and part ways. i have a feeling he is going home to cuddle with his birds.